Rant...rant...rant... Ver. 2.0

After spending the other day sleeping for most of the morning, cleaning up the place, and finally getting out and running (and buying shinkansen tickets), i talked on the internet... There is an overabundance of things i need to do and get set....I dont know if i will have a change of heart in the next few weeks and want to stay, but we shall see...Im looking at probably too much stuff right now.. All i know is that i will have 2 weeks in may off to go to tokyo or wherever and get my shit together, or try to... Im looking at all sorts of things and seeing what is possible/feasable.... How much i could save if i change positions, ect.... Well, either way... But i went into work today and my `go to man` at the BOE commented on how i had my hair pulled back, and had a suit on... and i just looked down and was thinking `stop fucking patronizing me.` My vanity gets the best of me i find more often than not recently. Sigh.. he was probably just impressed that i gave a shit about wearing a suit for the welcoming ceremony and had my hair pulled back (i did that because i went into an onsen last night and otherwise my hair would dry and be all flipy/get in my mouth when i sleep, ect...) But he was overtly commenting on it and even came over and patted my head (which kind of annoyed me). He could tell, and said `arnt you happy?` i didnt say anything in reply and just kind of looked down... THen he goes about his business... A few moments later i try help moving stuff, and i guess since i surupise him by my lack of apathy on this, he says `matt power` as im carying stuff...ehh...whatever.. im too fucking calloused at this point.. I might have found it humorous a few months ago, but i just dont feel i have the temperment for this... Though besides writing about it and letting it fester for a few moments, nothing will come of it...except for the aquardnss of whenever i see him...heh... Well, I will try and see if i can work on my resume and also get some other things out, and i need to decide if i want to america for this golden week, or if i want to just try and focus on jobs (but if i go back i could get some things set for grad school in the process..). Well, whatever... those damn mechanical dolls are dancing again in my head....rant rant rant...